whhsssssssshhhhhsssshhhsssshhhhh

You make one move in your life thinking it is for the best and that decision creates a butterfly effect of broken tracks and derailed trains. Why do I continue to brave the winds when I know everything around me is crumbling; am I really strong enough not to crumble as well?

Secrets, secrets are no fun

Everyone has a huge mouth. There is nothing I feel I can talk about without the words spreading like wildfire. I used to have faith that certain parts of my life would remain on the hush with only myself and the select few I decided to tell knowing what's going on but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. Why should anything be kept a secret when it makes for interesting conversation? Why does it appear to me that everyone has a better grasp about what's going on with my life than I do? Nothing is sacred, nothing is secret.

Working

You put all of that effort in to fall flat on your face. You bend over backwards to make sure it's all done properly. You have gone out of your way for years to keep up with the relentless work ethic that drives you...but what has it proven? What have you gotten out of all of this? Does it help you to sleep thinking that you have done all you can or are you really just trying to make the best out of the situation you're stuck in? You have the potential to be so much more than the black hole I see - where you are at and what you've become. Dig yourself out of this hole. I see it in you. Become the person you want to be no matter what it takes and stop lying to yourself. You aren't happy and the tell is in your eyes, it's been there for years.

That time

It's that time of year, the time when people get colder as the weather does. Personalities frigid and uneasy. Low morale. Cracked hands. Wind burn. Only a few more months until there is warmth in everyones lives.

Rant

I can't lie because I've been here before and it's a chapter in my life I don't want to read anymore. The book is far from finished but these pages have been read and I'd rather focus on how my story ends instead.